What is Grief?

Grief is a reaction to loss, any loss. The grief associated with death is familiar to most of us, but we grieve a wide variety of losses throughout our lives: traumatic experiences, divorce, relocations, loss of health and mobility are only some examples. Grief is often expressed by feelings such as anger, guilt, sadness or loneliness.

But grief affects us in other ways as well – spiritually, behaviorally, physically, and cognitively.

Bereavement is the way we process our grief. Each of us grieves in our own way, affected by factors as our culture, gender and circumstances surrounding the loss. Every loss has a unique meaning to us.

It is best not to think of grief as a series of stages. Rather we might think of the grieving process as a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, highs and lows. Like many roller coasters, the ride tends to be rougher in the beginning; the lows may be deeper and longer. The difficult periods should become less intense and shorter as time goes by, but it takes time to work through a loss. Even years after a loss, especially at special events such as family weddings or the birth of a child, we may still experience a strong sense of grief.

Since grief is so stressful, it helps to take good care of you. Eating and sleeping well, and getting adequate exercise are essential. Sharing your feelings with a close friend, in a journal, through a support group or with a professional counselor can be very helpful.

Hospice Inspiris
Grief Education
September 2005